36. Hena's Wedding.
I should be ever grateful to the kindness of Allah for giving me everything I have ever desired for. Nearly fifteen years back, when Azfar has come over to India, and when I had first seen him, I had desired for his alliance with Hena. I recall an incident when Hena was still very young and they had just come back from England. Azfar too must be a school kid when he then visited India. When he came to meet me, I got an instant liking for him at the very first sight. I teased him and asked if he would prefer to get married with an Indian girl or English to which he replied Indian. He was perplexed when I asked him whether he would like to marry my girl. He looked around in astonishment and asked where the girl was. I explained to him that he girl has gone to school as you do there in England. I found the boy immensely likable.
Nuzhat and Tarique both had similar views as mine. For their marriage, however, both of them had to undergo series of traumatic experiences which demanded exemplary sacrifices.
As if my dream had been fulfilled by the grace of Allah, now Hena was
going to be married with Azfar, popularly known as
Pappu. Due to some compelling circumstances, however, it was
considered appropriate for the wedding to take place in England rather than in
India. Initially only Tarique and Nuzhat were to go there along with
Hena. Later on, Aamir and Ahmar also made their plant to go along. When I went
to Purnea to meet them, one day suddenly Tarique said he would like me to go
with them. I tried to explain that since no one else from his side is going
from India, it will not be appropriate for the mother in law alone to be there.
His explanation was that only elder he is left with is his Khala Amman who is
not in a position to travel due to old age.
My passport was lying in Patna which Tarique got retrieved. Twice Amir
attempted to get the visa from Delhi and on both occasions the visa was
rejected. Calcutta was reputed to be even worst for this purpose. One of
Azfar’s Chacha who had even been sent the air ticket by Anees from England, was
flatly refused in the Calcutta High Commission. Poor fellow never could make it
for the wedding.
As the date for the wedding came close, I had no go but to try Calcutta
office and went there with Aamir. We stayed with Tinku (Khalid) there who was
given a two room suit in a five star hotel by his employers. His younger
brother Sharique was also with him those days. I had never before stayed and
dined in this kind of a luxury hotel before. Next day Khalid left for his job
and we had sumptuous breakfast in the huge ornamented hall of the hotel.
With Aamir we reached the High Commission office. The visa officer was an
Englishman and another young and sweet girl was also sitting there who was the
translator. They kept asking me simple questions one after another and I kept
replying to them I had requested for one month visa.
“ If you go there and decide to stay there one year or so, what is the
guarantee? I was then asked.
I then lost my cool. I pulled my passport from the hands of the officer
and showed then the two visas for America with dates of my visit there.
“America is such a beautiful place to live and moreover my two children a
residing there, but I have never stayed there for more than 3-4 months. Do you
think I will stay longer in that country of yours?” I said irritably and added
“ I cannot live in any cold country”
After a few more questions, the girl smilingly informed me that the visa
was granted. In retrospect I wonder how come I had suddenly become so
aggressive before them. After the interview was over, I thanked
the girl and even told her that she was ravishingly
beautiful. She seemed to be pleased with this one of a kind
customer. I hugged her and left as the senior officer kept looking at us, all
dazed.
Much relieved after that we went to Shazade’s place who is a close friend
of Tarique, and had our lunch there. Khalid had told me that he will be leaving
for Bangalore the same evening. He had booked my air ticket for Patna at his
own expense. Even as he remained very busy all this time, he was always
genuinely concerned about my every convenience and arranged so many things for
my comfortable stay there. I prayed for from the core of my heart.
As I came to Patna, I took out Hena’s jewellry from the Bank
locker. Got the old ones cleaned and rearranged many of them. A milaad function
was arranged in which few selected relatives from my side and
Musallahpur were invited. Nuzhat was extremely nervous and she wasn’t telling
anyone about her travel plans. On the day of departure I saw a jute bag meant
for vegetable shopping was brought and all the ornaments were kept in it with
fruits and bread spread over the top. Other than Nuzhat, only I was in the
knowledge of this ingenious arrangement.
In Delhi we stayed with A K Sharan who is another close friend of Tarique.
Khalid’s marriage was earlier fixed with my initiative and the girl was
studying in MA in Delhi University. Sharique used to meet her often. Having taken
formal permission from her mummy, I sent Sharique to get her where we were
staying. I had brought a ruby ring, belonging to olden times, for her, as is
the tradition. I wanted Hena also to meet her as she was not likely to be
present in the wedding. Nuzhat had gone to the market with Hena for shopping of
her sandals etc.
The girl came with a friend of hers along with Sharique. She offered her
salam to me and sat next to me. I gave some money to Sharique to get some Coke
and sweets from the market. She was a very simple girl and had come in the
clothes meant for university. She was a sweet talker and kept saying nanna,
nanna to me. I found her nice and suitable in every aspect except that she was
very lean and thin. I then took her to the room inside where all the luggage of
Nuzhat was scattered and showed her the clothes made for Hena’s wedding.
After some time Nuzhat and children arrived. I gave her the gold ring that
proved to just of the right size for her ring finger. Nuzhat gave some cash for
salami. Later, I was told by Sarah’s mummy that after meeting us she
had written a letter to her saying that she wasn’t not too sure if we had liked
her or not, but definitely she developed instant liking for the
Nanna.
Our departureas to England was divided in stages to avoid any kind of
suspicion that Hena is going for her marriage there. So she was the first one
to leave and went alone. Till the time information of her
safe arrival was not received, everyone had some anxious moments. Shamima and
Anees had themselves received her. After two days, we took the
flight. Just before we were to leave Tarique got fever. Loaded with
all kinds of tension, we eventually landed there. Azfar and Anwar
had come to receive us and we came out through the green channel without any
hassle. I give credit to Anees and Shamima for passing proper values to all
their children along with higher education.
On the way home, we dropped at Dr.Farida’s place. Her late husband, Dr.
Wali was a close friend of Tarique besides being a cousin. After his death,
this was the first time when Tarique was meeting her. Farida hugged her brother
for long as she kept weeping. Shamima’s residence was at a distant place but
the journey never felt like tiring. For the reception of the samdhins, their
entire family was present. Hena hugged her mother. We had arrived there a
fortnight in advance of the wedding date stayed for another
fortnight after that. That was the visa limitation.
It was a pleasant coincidence that the date for wedding that was fixed was
the same as that of her parents, in the month of August. You all will be
surprised to know that Nuzhat herself was born in the month of August. She
passed out medical and was married in the same month., Next year Hena was born
in august and after two years, Aamir was born in the very same month
After we had all reached England, the wedding card was distributed in
Patna. The entire function of marriage was performed well and as per the
convention we follow. On the day of Manjha, Nikhat and Neyaz with their
families arrived from America, though they came by different flights. Shama had
brought an ear-ring for Hena and a ring for the groom. Nikhat gave
manjha clothes to Nuzhat, Tarique, Aamir and Ahmar. She had brought clothes and
ornament for Hena too. A brief milaad function was held followed by very lively
geet and song session. From the day of the Manjha, Azfar also shifted there as
he was at his place of job in a hospital elsewhere before the day of
Manjha. Clothes prepared for the ceremony from both the sides were displayed to
the guests. For Azfar, a dark blue sharkskin sherwani was brought from Patna
which had delicate embroidery done on the sleeves and near the neck.
Amidst all the merriment, Shamima was a bit upset on account of her elder
daughter. She would frequently go to the toilet and wash her face The rasms
which was repeated there surprised us all as we had either forgotten them or
considered them as unnecessary. After the dinner the guests dispersed.
Next day was the day of baraat and the preparations started since morning
itself. From Shamima’s side her brother Pervez arrived from America with his
wife Ruma who was the daughter of Bibbi Baji. They had twin daughters and all
of them had come. Ruma and her two daughters were very hard working
and a big help to Shamima. Another of their brothers, Khursheed had
also come with his German wife and daughters. They had put up in a hotel
.
The Nikaah was scheduled after Maghrib. Before that when the guest
gathered there Azfar was dressed up in the groom’s attire. Pagri and Sehra
everything was there. Masha Allah he was looking fabulous. All the relatives
tied Emaam Zaamin on his fore-arm. The hotel where the function was to be held
was at a distance. We went in the car of Dr. Mona. Nuzhat, Hena and myself on
the rear seat. Hena was in the traditional red printed sari. The
function hall was large filled with chairs and stage for the couple. We all sat
there. Latter the groom arrived escorted by 5 of his sisters and cousins. Ruby
was in the forefront. Nikhat and Shama also had arrived by then. For the nikah,
from the two sides, the witnesses were Neyaz and Khursheed. The
Dain-mehar was already settled and only nominal a suggested by Azfar. As is the
tradition of the Prophet (SAW).
After the Quazi Saheb finished the nikah and khutba, the official papers
were signed by the newlywed couple. There after Neyaz and Pervez came inside
the room and congratulated Nuzhat. And thereafter started the weeping of Nuzhat
that just wasn’t coming to an end. The control which she was trying to hold for
a long time, just gave way. Everyone was trying to console her but she was
unable to hold the tears. Aamir came over and tried to hush her up in his angry
tone. I then had to intervene and I fired Aamir. How could he ever
imagine what is undergoing in her heart and mind. I let her wash away all the
burden that she has been carrying with her all along. When it all went on for
too long, I said I am going to get Tarique. That quietened her a bit and she
whispered me not to do that. Then I asked Shama to take her to wash her face.
Now Tarique and Anees came there and congratulated me which I reciprocated.
When the time came for get the groom for the sharbat, Aamir, Ahmar, Danish
and Tanveer stood like a wall on the way for Ghora Chhekai. And demanded money
to let him enter the hall. Although I kept myself at a distance, I saw a lot of
haggling was going on there. Pappu was trying to give some amount but their
demand was much higher. Suddenly Aamir became angry and asked others to
withdraw altogether. Eventually Shamima had to intervene and she added some
amount further and hugged Aamir and forced the money in his hands. Pappu was
finally allowed to enter the hall and went to the stage.
Rest of the function and “rasm” went on nicely. During the
function, I met lots of long lost acquaintances as well as new faces. Their
custom is that the guests have their dinner only when the newlywed couple are
there on the dining table. The bride is still getting ready. Finally
when she arrived, she was being escorted by many others, her face almost
covered with the “sehra” that is tied on the forehead. Midway to the stage, I
went to her and arranged the sehra over the head to make the face visible. I
have seen at least a thousand brides and even my own daughters but she was
looking exceptionally pretty. Her sandals were of high heels and she was
looking fairly tall. She never used to wear any kind of ornament or
even simple bangles during her college days, and therefore all the
shining bridal costume and the jewellry were adding to her beauty. I
hugged her with emotions and she was finally made to sit next to the groom.
A number of rituals were once again held. Everyone gave salami for the
“ru-numai” . Pappu put the diamond ring in her finger. Nayyer’s
daughter somehow managed to hide the groom’s shoes, as a ritual. Those day a
popular song from a movies was “paise dedo, joote le lo” which they were all
singing and eventually it was handed over back only after
a much negotiated settlement of the prize money. Tina and Lubna remained silent
spectators even as they too were participating in the demand.
It was now getting late for the dinner. A long dining table was then
arranged at the centre of which Hena was seated, Next to him was Anees and then
the groom. On the other side was Tarique next to shamima followed by me. On the
left side of the bride was Nuzhat, Nikhat, Qamar, Shama and Neyaz. Hena was
having tough time in having her food as the huge “nath” was hanging even below
the chin, and was all the time coming in the way. I saw Anees, making pieces of
the Murgh-musallam and giving it to Hena. Thus the day’s activities got over.
After the guests had left, we also moved back home.
During the whole visit, the maximum fun was had by the four
boys – Aamir, Ahmar, Danish and Tanvir. Anwar had separately given them 25
pounds each for spending and they had already received a good amount by way of
Ghora-chhekai. They had gala time moving all around the place and eating at
joints.
The reception was to be held on Saturday. Nikhat had no idea the reception
would be held after such a long gap, and her return ticked compelled her to
leave the same evening, without attending that function. On the day of the
Walima, right since morning, Anees and Pappu remained busy. After all the guest
had arrived the bride and the groom entered. While on the wedding day the
number of guests was limited, for the Walima a much larger number had been
invited. A number of Pappu’s British friends also gate crashed and they were
thrilled to see Pappu in the in the groom’s dress and the head gear was most
fascinating for them. I could meet a number of people belonging to Patna. The
food was mostly continental and seemed to be in abundance. The catering staff
were all young girls putting on some kind of apron. Each table had names of the
guest inscribed to avoid confusion which I appreciated a lot. Holding Hena’s
hand, Azfar came over to their reserved table and other close
relatives of the bride and the groom were seated in rows opposite each other.
Everyone enjoyed the dinner.
After the dinner was over, a girl brought a large 4 layered cake which was
cut by the couple followed by clapping. It was so enormous that even after
distribution a piece to all the guests, half of it was still left. Someone told
me it will be preserved for the occasion of the Chhati of their first born
child.
We returned to our respective seats when this was over. Nehal recited the
Sehra and it was appreciated by one and all. Next Anees went to the dais and
gave a brief speech thanking all those who had been instrumental in the wedding
and also those who were helpful in the arrangements. A lot of gifts given by
the guests had piled up which could not be fitted inside the car space and
bouquets were innumerable. We all returned home and thus a chapter was closed.
Thereafter, series of invitations for dinner started pouring in. Ayesha
has got her leg fractured and it was plastered. At Shamima’s insistence, Ayesha
stayed with them for 4 days and moved on. In the same condition of her
plastered legs, she invited us for dinner. We kept telling her not to take all
this trouble but she will not heed. With that plaster on, she just refused to
sit at the dinner. Later she asked me to go upstairs in a room and take some
rest. While I was in a semi sleep mode, I felt someone was pressing
my feet. When I opened my eyes, I saw Ayesha. Who was herself a prominent
doctor there and belonged to a noble family. When I was returning from there
she presented me a long coat and some woolens whereas I had taken nothing for
her. She has been unfortunate not to have the joys of life herself. Hope Allah
will provide a high status in the heavens. As I am writing this, I heard she is
extremely unwell and struggling for life in the hospital.
A number of other parties were also attended. Nayyer took me around the
city. We also went inside the palace of the king’s cousin which had been turned
into a museum but appeared as if the family was still living there and I found
it very fascinating. I didn’t go for much shopping as things were pretty
expensive there. In the last phase of my stay, I visited all the tourist spots
of London with Ahmar on a tourist coach.
Anees treated me with utmost respect and always suffixed his address to me
with “Huzoor”. Despite all the pain they took during our long stay there, he
would say” I am so fortunate and blessed that you bestowed you presence in my
house”. When I used to get down the bed, he would pick up my sleepers and put
them in my feet. It is difficult to find a person like him. Once he took me to
the market and all the was kept talking about his grandchild Faizu (Reshma’s
son) At times when he recalled Reshma got very emotional. With
tearful eyes once he remarked “ What sin have I committed to be given this kind
of punishment”.
I carry the contentment for being there on the occasion of Hena’s wedding
else it would have been a regret for the rest of my life. May
Allah’s blessing be upon them all.
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Chapter
INDEX.------------------------------------
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