23. Reyaz & Neyaz weddings
It was back to normal routine at home soon. However, religion had become
an important part of life now. The traditions that were followed in our house
for centuries like offering “Neyaz” to eatables, were discontinued. For some
time I got involved in the work of Tablighi Jamaat. I learned to
read the Quran with appropriate pronunciation. Now came the wish to go through
the elaborate explanatory translation of the Quran. I tried the Tafseer-ul-
Quran by Maulana Abul Kalaam Azad but it went above my head.
Jhabboo Bhai was now having severe problem with is stomach. They went to Calcutta
for the operation. The doctor after the incision , however, stitched it back
without any surgery saying the cancer had spread all over and it was not
redeemable.
One day Reyaz came to me and expressed the desire for marriage with Mona.
It was time for Nikhat to go to America and she had gone to Delhi to get the
Visa. Nuzhat and Tarique too had plans to go to England for higher studies. So
Reyaz wanted this issue to be resolved before their going abroad. He was
seeking my permission and said “without your permission, I will not marry her”
and then added “ and if you don’t approve, I will not marry elsewhere”. “ Mona
has helped me a lot in my studies” he said. “ that’s what a real friend is
supposed to do” was my reply.
Mona’s brother and Bhabhi were to come to meet us. Both of them appeared
to be decent. The wife dolly was very pretty. For the dinner, I also invited
Prem, the closest friend of Reyaz. The purpose of their visit probably was to
make sure whether my consent was there or not, as even Mona had stipulated the
same condition that in case I don’t agree for it they will not go
ahead. The dinner was held in Jhabboo Bhai’s dining room and
everyone came to know of this development that Reyazs’ marriage was now fixed.
After a few days, Sami who was there due to the illness of Jhabboo Bhai,
came to see me and said Jhabboo Bhai has sent the message that his wish is to
fix the marriage of Neyaz with Shama. “ This is Manjhle Abba’s last wish” he
added. Ever since Nikhat was married the search for Shama’s match was on. We
were all living in the same house for years but somehow it never occurred to
our mind. Doctor Saheb himself, as a matter of preference, was not in favor of
inter-family marriages as from the medical point of view, the ailments prevailing
in the family get multiplied. Although Shama did not have any demerit, marriage
between such close relatives was not appropriate. However, another aspect of my
personality had changed completely. This attribute was of helping other fellow
human beings. I didn’t bother to check with either Neyaz or any of my daughters
and told Sami “ considering this is the last wish of Jhabboo Bhai, InshAllah it
will be fulfilled”.
When I asked Neyaz about it, he replied “ I will go with the
wish of Amman but it will be better to get a job first”. As Jhabboo Bhai’s
condition was deteriorating rapidly, it was decided to hold the ceremonies of
both the brothers together.
There wasn’t much of arrangement to be done . The ornaments I had already
allocated for all my children right at the time of Talat’s marriage. Nuzhat
went to Calcutta and did the shopping for clothes. The bari of eleven pairs of
clothes was ready. 22nd June was fixed for Reyaz and 24th for
Neyaz and the joint walima was held on the 26th of June. Prem
arranged the venue that was Lala Lajpat Rai Memorial Hall near Bank Road at
concessional rate. Instead of dinner, only “asrana” (high tea) could be offered
due to resource constraints. In money matters, it was Nuzhat who managed a lot
of things on her own and that too mutely. In such matters, she did it more than
the sons and without an expectation for the credit to be taken for such acts.
Reyaz had asked the ladies too to go to Jamshedpur with the baraat.
Amongst the seniors, only Reyaz Bhai could join. Other than brothers and the
brother-in-laws, a couple of friends of Reyaz were to go. Sufi and Nasreen too
were included. I did not have the slightest desire to go with the baraat. The
absence of Doctor Sahib was always felt. As the wedding could not be held during
his lifetime, there was nothing left for me to fancy about. It was more like a
responsibility being carried out rather than celebrations. Reyaz and other
children, nevertheless were adamant that I had to join the baraat.
We went by train while Reyaz, his friends and other men went by road. A
friend of Reyaz, Luthra who must be weighing 150 Kilos
and his wife, equally obese, (we started calling her Luthri), also went with
the baraat. Alhamdulillah they reached Jamshedpur safely but on the
way back to Patna the old car succumbed to the weight of the Luthras and they
had to be toed by the truck.
At the Jamshedpur Railway station, Babu and others had come to receive us.
Our staying arrangement was done in a house close to Mona’s own bungalow. It
was the peak of summer and Jamshedpur is famous for its scorching heat. Dolly’s
mummy then came there to invite us for the breakfast. Thereafter, 11 pairs of
clothing and other tit-bits of wedding were handed over to Mona’s mummy in a
red suitcase. A pink Chiffon sari I had taken for her mummy. I was told that
Reyaz has already called for the nandana for the sisters and also a sari for
me, hence it had become all the more necessary for me to reciprocate. When Mona
came, the sisters applied Menhdi on her fingers. I had kept the red bed sheet
and pillow cover etc. for this occasion. After the
shower
Mona was made to wear the red hand printed silk sari which I had taken along.
When the Maulana came after the lunch, I asked the girls to escort
her to the room where nikah was to be performed. We all sat together and asked
two boys to stretch red cloth as partition before the Maulana was
brought to the room. The nikah was performed in the conventional manner and
Dain-mehar fixed after recital of Kalma by Mona followed by congratulatory
messages from one and all. I gave a nuqul for Mona to have as a
token of mouth-sweetener. The ornaments which I had carried all the way were
also handed over for wearing the next day at wedding.
hey all came to the railway station when it was all over. Our reservation was in the ladies class whereas Reyaz and Mona were booked in a separate coupe. Whole lot of eatables were given to us for the journey. For security reasons, Mona was made to wear a simple dress so as not to have any semblance of a bride. When we reached Patna, I briefed Reyaz to first take her to the waiting room and get her dressed and also put on the ornaments. We reached home and before anything else, the newlywed couple and all of us went to meet Jhabboo Bhai who was bed ridden. The entire house was full of guests who had come for the wedding of Shama. Over the same red hand printed sheet the ritual of Kheer feeding was performed between the couple.
Next day was the wedding of Neyaz. It was kind of a unusual baaraat that
was going to be taken out – from first floor of the house to the ground floor.
It was hardly a celebration for me and also my heart came out for Hassu who too
could hardly had any reason to cheer about. Her husband was critically ill and
she didn’t have father or any of the brothers as support. Indeed at that
crucial juncture, Sami and Razi were of great help. Nawab was all the time
glued to the bed of Jhabboo Bhai. Wedding was nevertheless a wedding and had to
be performed as it is required to be done. The guests were more or less common
from both the sides. So from the first floor we moved down to the ground floor
and sat there in the drawing room as “samdhins”. It was kind of a wedding that
I had never seen or even heard before. Neyaz then arrived dressed in groom’s
attire, in a car and was ushered in. Here also I presented the clothings and
ornaments in a suitcase and handed it over to them. Only the conventional Nath
( real large nose ring) was the additional item. Then followed the
garlanding and “Sharbat ritual for the samdhins. In fact all basic wedding
rituals were performed. Two silver plates were given to us. Mona was also
sitting with me all through and only after the dinner was over, I asked her to
go to her room and take some rest. After midnight Neyaz was once again escorted
to the ladies section and the remaining wedding rituals were completed. The
salees played ubtan ball throw game as is the convention and from then on,
brother Neyaz became brother in law for them. The bride and the groom whom we
were seeing day in and day out, however, appeared somewhat different.
As next day morning we all were supposed to have breakfast downstairs at Hassoo’s place, it didn’t give the feeling that the bride’s “rukhsati has taken place. The newlywed couple went to the tomb of Pir Mirza Murad to offer their fateha as was the tradition in my in-law’s side Dhawalpura. When they came back they continued to stay on the ground floor itself as there was hardly any space available for them. Only the meals were offered from my side.
Next was the reception day from my side. The arrangement was for high tea
and not the dinner. The entire lot went to the reception hall in many trips and
the two brides were last to arrive properly decked up. Poor Reyaz was the groom
as well as the chief host as practically the entire arrangements was
organized by him alone. I had invited only a selected number of guests for the
function. The ladies outnumbered the gents even as they were only close
relatives and friends. Along with the snacks, ice-cream was also on the menu
which was unheard of in those days. The younger crowd freaked over the
ice-cream and each one of them had good number of cups to boast
about. Mobina (Nuzhat’s sister in law) who always used to attend my household
weddings, had come from Purnea with her son Tannu who innocently retorted in a
sad tone that he just had 14 of them when there was scope for more.
Reyaz was busy with the arrangements. Both the brides and Neyaz were
seated on the stage. The rituals of “chauthhi were performed and we all gave
salami to the bride. Hassu also gave an earring to both the brides in a special
capacity as their mother in law. We had sent invitation card to Jamshedpur but
only Mona’s brother Babu and his wife had come to attend the function who was
amazed at the jewelry that was visible on the occasion. While they were leaving
they were also offered clothings as gifts along with the “baqarkhani” bread
that had come from Shama’s side.
There wasn’t any moment, however, when I did not miss their father. For
the parents, wedding the daughter always carries a conventional sad note that
the beloved daughter is being handed over to a stranger and thus there is a
shifting of supervision. The elation of a father on the occasion of
his son’s wedding, however is much coveted and considered unparallel.
Reyaz had made the train tickets arrangement in advance for Nainital
and left the next day for his honeymoon. Poor Neyaz had nowhere to go so he
stayed back.
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Chapter
INDEX.------------------------------------
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